We are looking for creative work, but only good creative work. Give us God, give us god, give us man, give us people & make us laugh. If you can make us cry, do so, if you want to lament loss of pets & family, do not. We enjoy smiling & the bizarre sensation of the rabble-rouse. We want to feel, & we want to want, & we don’t want Cheap Trick jokes inserted here, unless they are awesome. We are strict & unbiased; we value aesthetic above morality; we want to read a good piece as much as our readers, so write one before submitting. We read submissions all week, with open minds & eager taste. We will be prompt in responding with the disposition of your piece, but give us at least a month of procrastination time and a lunch buffer. Rejection should not be taken personally, only because we don’t know you, & therefore cannot judge you personally. Get to know us before submitting if you wish to take rejection as personal bias. You will not be paid, because we are not paid. We have little funding, & we promise we are poorer than you. Do not compete with our poverty. We will take this personally. Bribery in the form of beer is acceptable, & bribery in the form of coffee is encouraged   Beer preferences:                    La Fin Du Monde.                  St. Bernardus ABT 12 New Castle Killians Blue Moon (& all its seasonal varieties.)   Coffee preferences:                    Good coffee. (Not a brand, don’t look it up.)   Write, & the world will read.     Fiction submissions should be lonely little children lined up single file, attached in a .doc file or other widely readable format to the e-mail.  Fiction submissions should have no discernible genre.  Or vampires.   Poetry can be sent in bouquets of up to five, attached or in the body of an e-mail.  As always, aesthetic trumps  subject matter.  Poetry is probably not the proper venue through which to vent your frustration over the loss of your latest relationship.   Nonfiction submissions should not be fiction.   Send your submission to   ampersandsubmit@gmail.com   with genre and word count in the subject line.    We’re waiting.  Why are you?